SUNDAYS WITH JASON
My aching back! I should be typing this one from a wheelchair as I had the most grueling week at work ever! Heavy lifting, walking on concrete 11 hours a day, somebody shoot me! The only heavy lifting I do is lifting myself out of bed in the morning. (Or as I refer to it, my “single sit-up” of the day) But I am not asking for any sympathy, because I don’t give any either. Speaking of, this week was not too busy as far as news goes but there were a few tidbits worth mentioning. So, as “Ol’ Blue Eyes” would say, “Come fly with me!”
Another segue…. speaking of flying… I loved the story of about the doofus in Amherst who apparently had mistaken his Toyota Corolla for a Boeing 757 as he flew it through the air, crashing into a telephone pole and trees. However, his embarrassed co-pilot didn’t stick around, he “jetted” from the wreckage until he collapsed, just shy of his crappy apartment. I think a license revocation should be in order.
So, Haas is pimping out his Halloween expertise, which is good for him, and bad for the tradition of a good ole-fashioned wedding. People are crazy! Just when you think you’ve seen it all, you haven’t. But good job to Haas, I thought it was a well “executed” design. Lorain County, if dead is your thing; call Haas. He’s your neighborhood Spook Master if you will.
So I got a question from a reader last week and so I thought I’d answer. This is a first for me; but I thought it’d be different. His question was, “Do you ever wish for more of a challenge in gathering stories or does Lorain County just have a bumper crop of idiots?” Bumper Crop? If idiots were corn, we’d be the new Iowa! To be honest, the hardest part really is the “news.” I was once told “Jason, you have no soul.” I laughed, agreed and said thanks. Here’s the thing, sometimes I could care less if a bus crashed into a Buick. And to be perfectly honest (you may hate to hear this) but I kind of giggle when I see people in neck braces. You know, with all their face-fat bulging, looking like a swollen chipmunk at the height of harvest. But, you can’t just say things like that! (Well, you can, but you shouldn’t) After all, they are hurt. For me, I think the news should speak for itself. This isn’t “action” news; we don’t go out hunting for things to happen. We just tell you about them when they do. I don’t contribute to the real stories. I just do a bit of heckling after. TMC News knows what it’s doing. Me, I don’t. When it comes to Lorain County, let’s just say this: never a dull moment! For example: The last time I was in the Elyria Wal-Mart. (yes I was forced to go at gunpoint) I was there to develop some photos. I waited patiently behind a lady (?) who was doing a lot of zooming and selecting on the machine. She turned to me and said, “Sorry, I need to have these pictures for my court date.” My gut instinct was to pretend to be deaf, blind, and mute. Maybe then she’d just finish.” Instead, I say, “that’s okay, I’m in no hurry.” Dum-dum-dum-dum. So, she proceeds to show me pics of bruises on her neck and shoulders, explaining that she was beat up by a boyfriend. She told me the whole story, meanwhile I’m zoning out huddled in the fetal position inside. I heard some key words like, doublewide and whiskey. I think I heard something about bib overalls, “get ‘er done,” and NASCAR too. I just don’t understand why anyone would take such a personal issue and broadcast on the 24-inch monitor in the middle of Wally World. I’m just telling what happened, as I saw it.
Another “tale from the hood,” is set in Lorain County as well. I was at the midway mall (yuck) and just “minding my own business”. A group of teens came running down the main aisle of the food court, screaming obscenities. They were all barefoot and in pajamas. They barreled through a bunch of senior citizens to get outside so they could smoke. (I guess to help catch their breath) Then, they hopped in an Econoline van that had pulled up and zipped off with a “parent.” But that’s not all; the crazy driver rear-ended an old person who had already been accosted by the teens earlier. Then they just drove off. I looked around and everyone’s expression seemed to be, “oh well, all in a day.”
Again, it’s a real story and I was there. I tell you, if you ever feel like you’re missing all the good stuff. Just take a minute to look around and I guarantee, you’ll be surprised how many “interesting” things happen around you every day! Only in Lorain County! Well, I guess story time is over, put your mats back and now it’s naptime.
Be well, and play nice kids!
Jason
Another segue…. speaking of flying… I loved the story of about the doofus in Amherst who apparently had mistaken his Toyota Corolla for a Boeing 757 as he flew it through the air, crashing into a telephone pole and trees. However, his embarrassed co-pilot didn’t stick around, he “jetted” from the wreckage until he collapsed, just shy of his crappy apartment. I think a license revocation should be in order.
So, Haas is pimping out his Halloween expertise, which is good for him, and bad for the tradition of a good ole-fashioned wedding. People are crazy! Just when you think you’ve seen it all, you haven’t. But good job to Haas, I thought it was a well “executed” design. Lorain County, if dead is your thing; call Haas. He’s your neighborhood Spook Master if you will.
So I got a question from a reader last week and so I thought I’d answer. This is a first for me; but I thought it’d be different. His question was, “Do you ever wish for more of a challenge in gathering stories or does Lorain County just have a bumper crop of idiots?” Bumper Crop? If idiots were corn, we’d be the new Iowa! To be honest, the hardest part really is the “news.” I was once told “Jason, you have no soul.” I laughed, agreed and said thanks. Here’s the thing, sometimes I could care less if a bus crashed into a Buick. And to be perfectly honest (you may hate to hear this) but I kind of giggle when I see people in neck braces. You know, with all their face-fat bulging, looking like a swollen chipmunk at the height of harvest. But, you can’t just say things like that! (Well, you can, but you shouldn’t) After all, they are hurt. For me, I think the news should speak for itself. This isn’t “action” news; we don’t go out hunting for things to happen. We just tell you about them when they do. I don’t contribute to the real stories. I just do a bit of heckling after. TMC News knows what it’s doing. Me, I don’t. When it comes to Lorain County, let’s just say this: never a dull moment! For example: The last time I was in the Elyria Wal-Mart. (yes I was forced to go at gunpoint) I was there to develop some photos. I waited patiently behind a lady (?) who was doing a lot of zooming and selecting on the machine. She turned to me and said, “Sorry, I need to have these pictures for my court date.” My gut instinct was to pretend to be deaf, blind, and mute. Maybe then she’d just finish.” Instead, I say, “that’s okay, I’m in no hurry.” Dum-dum-dum-dum. So, she proceeds to show me pics of bruises on her neck and shoulders, explaining that she was beat up by a boyfriend. She told me the whole story, meanwhile I’m zoning out huddled in the fetal position inside. I heard some key words like, doublewide and whiskey. I think I heard something about bib overalls, “get ‘er done,” and NASCAR too. I just don’t understand why anyone would take such a personal issue and broadcast on the 24-inch monitor in the middle of Wally World. I’m just telling what happened, as I saw it.
Another “tale from the hood,” is set in Lorain County as well. I was at the midway mall (yuck) and just “minding my own business”. A group of teens came running down the main aisle of the food court, screaming obscenities. They were all barefoot and in pajamas. They barreled through a bunch of senior citizens to get outside so they could smoke. (I guess to help catch their breath) Then, they hopped in an Econoline van that had pulled up and zipped off with a “parent.” But that’s not all; the crazy driver rear-ended an old person who had already been accosted by the teens earlier. Then they just drove off. I looked around and everyone’s expression seemed to be, “oh well, all in a day.”
Again, it’s a real story and I was there. I tell you, if you ever feel like you’re missing all the good stuff. Just take a minute to look around and I guarantee, you’ll be surprised how many “interesting” things happen around you every day! Only in Lorain County! Well, I guess story time is over, put your mats back and now it’s naptime.
Be well, and play nice kids!
Jason
posted by TMC NEWS at 1:32 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home