SUNDAYS WITH JASON
Here we go again. First, thanks for your thoughts; whether smart or stupid, I enjoyed them. A few replies: Someone asked if I was drunk (it was late when I posted I guess). NO. I’m an insomniac - I‘m always awake. I don’t drink anyway. Never have - never will. Now don’t think less of me I don’t hate drinkers. Honestly, drunks keep the news interesting. My mom never drank and my dad didn’t in front of me. But, ‘twas the bottle that done kilt me grandpapa (he would’ve sucked the alcohol out of a deodorant stick to keep his buzz). God Bless Him, rest in pieces grandpapa. (He was cremated)
Next, I need your help here, so plug your nose, in your best Edith Bunker voice, read aloud: “Sorry, I don't like this. This stories are real life. They are someone's family. Making fun of them is very rude. What if you were to get killed and we make fun of you.” ZZZZZZZ…. Weren’t you waiting for an, “I know you are but what am I?” MARK MY WORDS: if I jump out in front of a train, shoot myself in a public or am gunned down at McDonald’s, I beg of you, make fun of me, I deserve it. But the best entry was from a riled up oddball who defended the fact that he can carry a gun. Instead of coming off cool and intelligent, he threatened me: “'I think I’ll forward your smart little comment to Ohioans for Concealed Carry, and the NRA see if they agree on how funny you truly are.” OH NO, WHAT ARE THEY GONNA DO?? SHOOT ME? Give me a break, you love guns, me too. But, forgive me for thinking if the only people who could carry a gun were our military, law enforcement and hunters (of animals) maybe it would even the playing field. If you wanted to kill me you would have to come up to me and shank me face to face. If guns don’t make (some) people feel invincible, why don’t they just shoot themselves instead of us?
Now, here is your (quick) recap this week. I’ll try not to get, “wordy.”
#1 The Monday curse returns, Lorain County was told by the NOACA, that the air could potentially kill Grannies or your babies, YIKES.
#2 A motorcycle crash in Amherst, ho hum, let’s all just learn to drive, again. But by the way… notice how many stories are coming out of Amherst this week? They must be getting back at me for dogging their Main Street soirée, which I heard was a blast, people really liked it.
#3 Amherst again, 16-year-old boy almost abducted in a school parking lot. PARENTS, let’s dissect this with one deep cut. 11:30 pm, 16 years old, scooter, alone. None of those words should be in the same sentence. DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOUR KIDS ARE??
#4 Lorain County under water and the infamous comment wars begin over a (controversial?) picture of an ambulance, barreling through shin deep water. The story below says, “WHEN ENCOUNTERING FLOODED ROADS MAKE THE SMART CHOICE: TURN AROUND, DONT DROWN!” I guess I am just not making the connection, what’s the problem?
#5 People are arguing over the Salvation Army and who gets the food. WHO CARES? If they are out of food, give them food. You know you’re too scared to drop it off to a needy family yourself, so they do it for you. 70% of us eat to much as it is. (ME) We can easily do away with some of those calories. And, LAY OFF THE BEANS, would you want beans? The holidays are spittin distance away, “Merry Christmas from the Salvation Army, here’s your garbanzo beans.”
#6 For the whiners saying there’s no good news: Vicki, the Director at Wilkes Villa, a somewhat creepy place, puts on a shmorgasboard of fun for them, and none of you commented on it, shame. Top it off, what thanks does she get? A tenant decided to incinerate an apartment building, he wasn’t refreshing the scouts on fire starting either.
#7 The return of the taser lady, I cannot even tell you, the amount of emotions this story caused in me, I don’t have enough pages or words. I don’t care who you are, you laughed, you gasped, you hid your eyes and hit replay. Why tasers? Even if this woman was crazy, drunk, belligerent or whatever this story made me wonder, WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?
#8 This whole red parrot thing, someone asked if it was a gay bar. No, I believe that is the red pecker. (double entendre?) Secondly, if these “patrons” wanted to be taken seriously, they should have done one thing, shut up. Everyone’s stories are shifty, they really want to protect their bar (or hip, artsy place)? I know when I am at a swank lounge, people yell “eat a dick” at officers all the time. It’s a term of endearment isn’t it? The best part is, the “patrons” said, “we thought it was part of the song.” Real artsy, real hip. The kind of “bistro” you could take your mom and your girlfriend to right? And HELLO, If someone said that to me, I would have tasered, pepper sprayed, gave noogies & wedgies and then just tossed a grenade in there. (do I have a future in law enforcement?) See folks, everyone wants tougher cops until they get smacked up for being out of line. I don’t know about this one, I am still on the fence.
#9 Amherst again, a hostage situation!!?? Are people from Lorain moving to Amherst?
#10 My HIGHLIGHT OF THE LOWLIGHTS… The CORN FESTIVAL?? What a mess! I was forced by gunpoint to go and I must say, I don’t know what corn had to do with it but, it was corny. After taking 20 minutes to get a parking spot and 10 minutes to the gate, I was ready to go home, and even though it was free, I asked for my money back. Here’s a question, why do women walk around in bathing suits and shorts when there is no water around? Is it that hard to find “sportswear?” Keep it at home. So, this Fest was like taking the fair, without the animals (but it still stunk), and jamming it onto a one lane, one way street. I ran to my car, shaved the mullet I had grown while I was there and reattached the pant legs to my jean cut-offs. By the way, where were the Harleys? (I guess people wear the t-shirt, without owning the bike). I can’t blame this one on booze, smokers, location, entertainers, carnys or the food. It was just flat out bad. GO, you’ll love it. Hey, Amherst. You throw the party next time, I’ll be there. Peace to you all. Enjoy your week, and be nice to someone. Please.
Jason
Now it’s time for the obligatory disclaimer. The views expressed in the “Sunday’s with Jason” column do not necessarily represent the views of TMC NEWS. In other words, blame him, not us. As always you are free to respond to his comments, all I ask is that you leave your name to your comments. A few anonymous posts got through last week, we will be more watchful this week.
Next, I need your help here, so plug your nose, in your best Edith Bunker voice, read aloud: “Sorry, I don't like this. This stories are real life. They are someone's family. Making fun of them is very rude. What if you were to get killed and we make fun of you.” ZZZZZZZ…. Weren’t you waiting for an, “I know you are but what am I?” MARK MY WORDS: if I jump out in front of a train, shoot myself in a public or am gunned down at McDonald’s, I beg of you, make fun of me, I deserve it. But the best entry was from a riled up oddball who defended the fact that he can carry a gun. Instead of coming off cool and intelligent, he threatened me: “'I think I’ll forward your smart little comment to Ohioans for Concealed Carry, and the NRA see if they agree on how funny you truly are.” OH NO, WHAT ARE THEY GONNA DO?? SHOOT ME? Give me a break, you love guns, me too. But, forgive me for thinking if the only people who could carry a gun were our military, law enforcement and hunters (of animals) maybe it would even the playing field. If you wanted to kill me you would have to come up to me and shank me face to face. If guns don’t make (some) people feel invincible, why don’t they just shoot themselves instead of us?
Now, here is your (quick) recap this week. I’ll try not to get, “wordy.”
#1 The Monday curse returns, Lorain County was told by the NOACA, that the air could potentially kill Grannies or your babies, YIKES.
#2 A motorcycle crash in Amherst, ho hum, let’s all just learn to drive, again. But by the way… notice how many stories are coming out of Amherst this week? They must be getting back at me for dogging their Main Street soirée, which I heard was a blast, people really liked it.
#3 Amherst again, 16-year-old boy almost abducted in a school parking lot. PARENTS, let’s dissect this with one deep cut. 11:30 pm, 16 years old, scooter, alone. None of those words should be in the same sentence. DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOUR KIDS ARE??
#4 Lorain County under water and the infamous comment wars begin over a (controversial?) picture of an ambulance, barreling through shin deep water. The story below says, “WHEN ENCOUNTERING FLOODED ROADS MAKE THE SMART CHOICE: TURN AROUND, DONT DROWN!” I guess I am just not making the connection, what’s the problem?
#5 People are arguing over the Salvation Army and who gets the food. WHO CARES? If they are out of food, give them food. You know you’re too scared to drop it off to a needy family yourself, so they do it for you. 70% of us eat to much as it is. (ME) We can easily do away with some of those calories. And, LAY OFF THE BEANS, would you want beans? The holidays are spittin distance away, “Merry Christmas from the Salvation Army, here’s your garbanzo beans.”
#6 For the whiners saying there’s no good news: Vicki, the Director at Wilkes Villa, a somewhat creepy place, puts on a shmorgasboard of fun for them, and none of you commented on it, shame. Top it off, what thanks does she get? A tenant decided to incinerate an apartment building, he wasn’t refreshing the scouts on fire starting either.
#7 The return of the taser lady, I cannot even tell you, the amount of emotions this story caused in me, I don’t have enough pages or words. I don’t care who you are, you laughed, you gasped, you hid your eyes and hit replay. Why tasers? Even if this woman was crazy, drunk, belligerent or whatever this story made me wonder, WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?
#8 This whole red parrot thing, someone asked if it was a gay bar. No, I believe that is the red pecker. (double entendre?) Secondly, if these “patrons” wanted to be taken seriously, they should have done one thing, shut up. Everyone’s stories are shifty, they really want to protect their bar (or hip, artsy place)? I know when I am at a swank lounge, people yell “eat a dick” at officers all the time. It’s a term of endearment isn’t it? The best part is, the “patrons” said, “we thought it was part of the song.” Real artsy, real hip. The kind of “bistro” you could take your mom and your girlfriend to right? And HELLO, If someone said that to me, I would have tasered, pepper sprayed, gave noogies & wedgies and then just tossed a grenade in there. (do I have a future in law enforcement?) See folks, everyone wants tougher cops until they get smacked up for being out of line. I don’t know about this one, I am still on the fence.
#9 Amherst again, a hostage situation!!?? Are people from Lorain moving to Amherst?
#10 My HIGHLIGHT OF THE LOWLIGHTS… The CORN FESTIVAL?? What a mess! I was forced by gunpoint to go and I must say, I don’t know what corn had to do with it but, it was corny. After taking 20 minutes to get a parking spot and 10 minutes to the gate, I was ready to go home, and even though it was free, I asked for my money back. Here’s a question, why do women walk around in bathing suits and shorts when there is no water around? Is it that hard to find “sportswear?” Keep it at home. So, this Fest was like taking the fair, without the animals (but it still stunk), and jamming it onto a one lane, one way street. I ran to my car, shaved the mullet I had grown while I was there and reattached the pant legs to my jean cut-offs. By the way, where were the Harleys? (I guess people wear the t-shirt, without owning the bike). I can’t blame this one on booze, smokers, location, entertainers, carnys or the food. It was just flat out bad. GO, you’ll love it. Hey, Amherst. You throw the party next time, I’ll be there. Peace to you all. Enjoy your week, and be nice to someone. Please.
Jason
Now it’s time for the obligatory disclaimer. The views expressed in the “Sunday’s with Jason” column do not necessarily represent the views of TMC NEWS. In other words, blame him, not us. As always you are free to respond to his comments, all I ask is that you leave your name to your comments. A few anonymous posts got through last week, we will be more watchful this week.
posted by TMC NEWS at 12:12 AM
7 Comments:
#9 -
Q: Are people from Lorain moving to Amherst?
A: Yes, exactly.
(Crawling back to my chair after falling off it laughing) Jason, you are too damn funny. I think you should travel the festivals around lorain county and the county fair as a stand up.
Feel free to respond to Jason's comments, all I ask is that you leave your name to your comments. A few anonymous posts got through last week, we will be more watchful this week.
SIGN YOUR NAME... Thank You!
Hello! I enjoy Sundays With Jason. Makes me laugh... Which we ALL need. Just have to remember to take it with a grain of salt. NOT seriously. And Jason I believe you are correct when you say you don't have a future in law enforcement!!
Jamwalk
Born and raised in North Ridgeville and I love my community but I have to agree with Jason on this one. That festival has gotten out of hand. Not a chance in hell you would find any of my kids on one of those rides or near any of the ride operators. I suppose it is good that Jason didn’t do more about the festival. Now don’t get me wrong, there are many parts of it that are nice but I think the people who organize it need some fresh eyes to look at it overall and make some changes.
Michael from, yes North Ridgeville.
PS: That line about the mullet cracked me up
#9 Amherst again, a hostage situation!!?? Are people from Lorain moving to Amherst?
WOW you made my day.... that is funny
NO stupid people aren't moving from Lorain to Amherst from Lorain. THEY ARE SPREAD OUT ALL OVER THE COUNTY!!! But, I have a good job because of them. Melody
Post a Comment
<< Home