SUNDAYS WITH JASON
Hello there. So this is the first post of 2008! I don’t know about you but I am glad that the number seven can easily be turned into an eight with a squiggly line. I have been writing the wrong date on everything. But that’s me and this is you…Lorain County, that is; so what does Lorain County have up its sleeve for 2008? So far, just a lot of car accidents and house fires, but we’ve come to expect that haven’t we. At least they managed to catch that menacing “Subway” robber. When I saw “Subway” I kept thinking, “Subway; you mean Amtrak? I didn’t know we had any subways here.” Yeah, I’m that stupid. Because it would never occur to me that anyone would be dumb enough to “hold-up” a sandwich shop. You gotta have bologna for brains if you think you’re gonna make out with a lot of cash. What did he want, free cookies, refills, sun chips? (I love sun chips) Anyway, this was obviously a ghetto attempt at a crappy caper. The idiot wore the same thing each time, they probably smelled him coming. What a loser: Take your cold cuts and hit the bricks buddy.
Also, I am about at my wits end when it comes to all these car crashes, now I know they are a part of life but, it stills annoys me that there are people who are allowed to drive, even though they are obviously inept. So here’s a quick refresher course: you always drive on the right side of the road, you stop at red things (lights, signs, etc), and you go at green things. What else can I say…? You don’t run into people, buildings, or other cars; and you don’t play chicken with trains. Finally, if you are legally blind, legally “old” or legally an IDIOT: Take a bus. I think it’s the simple things in life that we take for granted, like knowing how to drive.
My heart was saddened by the 15 year old boy who got struck by a car on 511 in Oberlin. I am a bit baffled at why anyone would be walking 511 at night, but he was with his dad. Having grown up in Oberlin, I know it wasn’t a regular walking path for me or anyone else I knew. But that aside, I know if it was my son, I’d wish it had been me that had been killed. So I definitely am praying for that family. Now, that was nice wasn’t it? I didn’t say anything about the fact that the driver was 77 years old, and since I don’t have the details, I also didn’t speculate that the guy “didn’t see” anyone and that he probably is a, “good driver, with no previous accidents.” We’ll see, won’t we?
Another thing about all these fires, the fire gnome has really been working overtime here, but, there are so many easy precautions to take. It’s amazing how glorified these fires are in movies and television shows. I think most people think that if their house was engulfed in flames, that they could just run out in the nick of time. It just doesn’t work that way, the fumes alone could knock you out. Just some FYI; it’s not that easy to run out of a burning building when you’re incapacitated. So, do yourself a favor, put in smoke detectors, maybe even with batteries. And a carbon monoxide detector never killed anyone either. But, we all know that, right?
Hmm, what else? Ooh, the old dudes playing baseball. Well, you all should know that I know more about paleontology then any sport (except WWE wrestling, don’t judge me). The fun part of the story was how it reminded me of the movies, “I’m Not Rappaport” & “Grumpy Old Men.” I think I would have enjoyed watching a game pitting slow running, replaced hips against false teeth and sore muscle cream. Great stuff! Truth be told, most of friend are 20-30 years my senior, I think they are more interesting and full of entertaining stories. So, baseball aside, it was probably a great time. Everyone tells me I’m an old soul, but I just think that young people waste their time trying to figure out who they are and impressing people. I could care less if you’re impressed by me. Where am I going with this? All of the sudden I started boring myself. Yeah, I am an old soul and an old brain too.
Well, I’ll make this short, especially since I’m getting nowhere fast. I’ll leave you with a little story from my 2nd favorite website www.darwinawards.com. I always check it out for a quick pick-me-up, if it doesn’t work for you, stick to your booze. Here it is: a 63-year-old man's extraordinary effort to eradicate a mole from his property resulted in a probable victory for the mole. The man had pounded several metal rods into the ground and connected them to a high-voltage power line, with the intent of rendering the subterranean realm uninhabitable. Incidentally, the maneuver electrified the very ground he stood upon. He was found dead at his holiday property on the Baltic Sea. Police had to trip the main circuit breaker before venturing onto the property.
The precise date of the sexagenarian's demise could not be ascertained, but the electricity bill may provide a clue.
Hey, I wonder if that trick would work on Fire Gnomes.
Have a good one; we’ll try again next week!
Jason
*TRIVIA TIME*
So, you wanna get your “rage in the cage” on? Here’s my trivia for this week.
What day did I give Pete “the meat” from Avon, his infamous nickname? Try that one on for size!
Answer this trivia and win TWO FREE TICKETS to Superior Cage Fighting’s “PLAYING FOR KEEPS” that will be held on January 11th in the gymnasium of St. John Lutheran Church on West River Road by Target.
Answer the question in the comments section and leave your email so we can contact you about the tickets.
Also, I am about at my wits end when it comes to all these car crashes, now I know they are a part of life but, it stills annoys me that there are people who are allowed to drive, even though they are obviously inept. So here’s a quick refresher course: you always drive on the right side of the road, you stop at red things (lights, signs, etc), and you go at green things. What else can I say…? You don’t run into people, buildings, or other cars; and you don’t play chicken with trains. Finally, if you are legally blind, legally “old” or legally an IDIOT: Take a bus. I think it’s the simple things in life that we take for granted, like knowing how to drive.
My heart was saddened by the 15 year old boy who got struck by a car on 511 in Oberlin. I am a bit baffled at why anyone would be walking 511 at night, but he was with his dad. Having grown up in Oberlin, I know it wasn’t a regular walking path for me or anyone else I knew. But that aside, I know if it was my son, I’d wish it had been me that had been killed. So I definitely am praying for that family. Now, that was nice wasn’t it? I didn’t say anything about the fact that the driver was 77 years old, and since I don’t have the details, I also didn’t speculate that the guy “didn’t see” anyone and that he probably is a, “good driver, with no previous accidents.” We’ll see, won’t we?
Another thing about all these fires, the fire gnome has really been working overtime here, but, there are so many easy precautions to take. It’s amazing how glorified these fires are in movies and television shows. I think most people think that if their house was engulfed in flames, that they could just run out in the nick of time. It just doesn’t work that way, the fumes alone could knock you out. Just some FYI; it’s not that easy to run out of a burning building when you’re incapacitated. So, do yourself a favor, put in smoke detectors, maybe even with batteries. And a carbon monoxide detector never killed anyone either. But, we all know that, right?
Hmm, what else? Ooh, the old dudes playing baseball. Well, you all should know that I know more about paleontology then any sport (except WWE wrestling, don’t judge me). The fun part of the story was how it reminded me of the movies, “I’m Not Rappaport” & “Grumpy Old Men.” I think I would have enjoyed watching a game pitting slow running, replaced hips against false teeth and sore muscle cream. Great stuff! Truth be told, most of friend are 20-30 years my senior, I think they are more interesting and full of entertaining stories. So, baseball aside, it was probably a great time. Everyone tells me I’m an old soul, but I just think that young people waste their time trying to figure out who they are and impressing people. I could care less if you’re impressed by me. Where am I going with this? All of the sudden I started boring myself. Yeah, I am an old soul and an old brain too.
Well, I’ll make this short, especially since I’m getting nowhere fast. I’ll leave you with a little story from my 2nd favorite website www.darwinawards.com. I always check it out for a quick pick-me-up, if it doesn’t work for you, stick to your booze. Here it is: a 63-year-old man's extraordinary effort to eradicate a mole from his property resulted in a probable victory for the mole. The man had pounded several metal rods into the ground and connected them to a high-voltage power line, with the intent of rendering the subterranean realm uninhabitable. Incidentally, the maneuver electrified the very ground he stood upon. He was found dead at his holiday property on the Baltic Sea. Police had to trip the main circuit breaker before venturing onto the property.
The precise date of the sexagenarian's demise could not be ascertained, but the electricity bill may provide a clue.
Hey, I wonder if that trick would work on Fire Gnomes.
Have a good one; we’ll try again next week!
Jason
*TRIVIA TIME*
So, you wanna get your “rage in the cage” on? Here’s my trivia for this week.
What day did I give Pete “the meat” from Avon, his infamous nickname? Try that one on for size!
Answer this trivia and win TWO FREE TICKETS to Superior Cage Fighting’s “PLAYING FOR KEEPS” that will be held on January 11th in the gymnasium of St. John Lutheran Church on West River Road by Target.
Answer the question in the comments section and leave your email so we can contact you about the tickets.
posted by TMC NEWS at 12:08 AM
4 Comments:
Some causes of car accidents are due to obstructions at stop signs. Not all are caused by idiot drivers. People need to cut down their trees and quit planting hedges on corners. There is one intersection at Nickle-Plate and Parsons where a farmer plants corn to the corner. If you are aware of that one, Nickel-plate curves there and it is very hard to see an on-coming car.
Trivia answer-September 2, 2007 is the first time you mentioned a person from Avon with a name that rymes with meat. Then on October 21, 2007 you actually wrote Pete "the meat"
Becky
e-mail address: milksfamilygamefarm@yahoo.com
It was sunday sept. 2nd, I work on the 11th so if I win I want to donate my tickets to charity.
Pete "The Meat" Avon
Just wondering if I won the tickets or if Pete "The Meat" did
Becky
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