READER RESPONDS TO COMMENTS
First of all, I would like to thank TMC for providing a place to keep up on news and community events. Some of this coverage happens at two or three in the morning so I know that lots of sleep gets missed just to provide the coverage and the photographs that accompany each story. This is a wonderful service to the community and to those of us who enjoy visiting TMC.
While I have been visiting TMC, I have seen some wonderful stories accompanied by well intentioned, well thought out comments to each story. However, I have also noticed an amazing capacity for name calling, most specifically, how comfortable certain people are about calling our youth names such as POS or in everyday language: pieces of shit! They type it as easily as if they are talking about the weather at any given time of the day or the year.
But do the people who are calling the youth names and cussing the youth remember that they too were once young and probably at some point in time scandalized their parents, grandparents, peers and siblings? Remember the 60’s and 70’s? Those years were all about free living and yes, even scandal was a norm.
Ok, so maybe when they were younger they did not have the temptations that the youth of today have nor did they probably make some of the poor decisions that youth of today are making. They probably have their parents and many other adults to thank for that.
However, chances are also good that they also did not have to live with rampant AIDS, rapes, incest, child abuse, high suicide rates, the immense peer pressure to conform, the high divorce rates of the parents, the high drug culture that is so prevalent now, and the almost total lack of constructive affordable activities for youth.
These kids are seeking attention and guidance. They are usually a product of broken homes and the poor decisions that their parents make in allowing them to roam around unsupervised. How many parents care about where their kids are? How many shoo them out the door to run the neighborhood, not caring what they are doing as long as the parent has peace and quiet? How many of these kids are from divorced, single parent homes? How many have parents who are on drugs? How many of these kids have been physically or sexually abused at some point in the past?
No, that is not a valid excuse for some of their negative behaviors or choices but consider this: When you call our youth names you become part of the problem and not part of the solution. You are contributing to the anger, hurt and injustice that is felt by our youth. You are not encouraging the youth to place their trust in adults or the system because they know how adults really feel and how the adults talk about them. Our kids are not stupid, they can also hear very well.
This is not intended as an attack on anyone! But our kids are in crisis and too many people are taking the easy way out and sitting in judgment on the youth of America today. It is a challenge to everyone. There are many opportunities for everyone to become involved with our youth. Become a Big Brother or Sister. I’m sure that there are many organizations out there needing volunteers. Offer to serve on your local school committee. Get out and take advantage of the many opportunities. Then you will be part of the solution and not part of the problem.
Patsy Cox
TMC NEWS Gold Card Member
While I have been visiting TMC, I have seen some wonderful stories accompanied by well intentioned, well thought out comments to each story. However, I have also noticed an amazing capacity for name calling, most specifically, how comfortable certain people are about calling our youth names such as POS or in everyday language: pieces of shit! They type it as easily as if they are talking about the weather at any given time of the day or the year.
But do the people who are calling the youth names and cussing the youth remember that they too were once young and probably at some point in time scandalized their parents, grandparents, peers and siblings? Remember the 60’s and 70’s? Those years were all about free living and yes, even scandal was a norm.
Ok, so maybe when they were younger they did not have the temptations that the youth of today have nor did they probably make some of the poor decisions that youth of today are making. They probably have their parents and many other adults to thank for that.
However, chances are also good that they also did not have to live with rampant AIDS, rapes, incest, child abuse, high suicide rates, the immense peer pressure to conform, the high divorce rates of the parents, the high drug culture that is so prevalent now, and the almost total lack of constructive affordable activities for youth.
These kids are seeking attention and guidance. They are usually a product of broken homes and the poor decisions that their parents make in allowing them to roam around unsupervised. How many parents care about where their kids are? How many shoo them out the door to run the neighborhood, not caring what they are doing as long as the parent has peace and quiet? How many of these kids are from divorced, single parent homes? How many have parents who are on drugs? How many of these kids have been physically or sexually abused at some point in the past?
No, that is not a valid excuse for some of their negative behaviors or choices but consider this: When you call our youth names you become part of the problem and not part of the solution. You are contributing to the anger, hurt and injustice that is felt by our youth. You are not encouraging the youth to place their trust in adults or the system because they know how adults really feel and how the adults talk about them. Our kids are not stupid, they can also hear very well.
This is not intended as an attack on anyone! But our kids are in crisis and too many people are taking the easy way out and sitting in judgment on the youth of America today. It is a challenge to everyone. There are many opportunities for everyone to become involved with our youth. Become a Big Brother or Sister. I’m sure that there are many organizations out there needing volunteers. Offer to serve on your local school committee. Get out and take advantage of the many opportunities. Then you will be part of the solution and not part of the problem.
Patsy Cox
TMC NEWS Gold Card Member
posted by TMC NEWS at 8:26 PM
3 Comments:
Thank You for writing what you did. In some respect i feel sorry for Asa. He was failed all the way around. I don't condone what he did, it was very wrong. My question is were was the support system for him if people knew he was abused. The problem is the system.
kim
Patsy,
While you have many valid points in your article, I have to disagree with the overall tone. As far back as I can remember, I wanted to be an adult and do "adult" things. I wanted to drive, buy my own car, be alone with my girlfriend, rent an apartment, live on my own. I remember wanting this when I was twelve. Fact is, I had good parents. I know many others who did not have good parents, but still turned out really well. The point I'm trying to make here is that kids who do adult things and break adult crimes can be called (and treated) as an adult. It's the price they pay for going that far overboard with their behavior. I have not posted on most of the articles lately. I have read the posts made by others. I can associate with the feelings being expressed. It's not so much about being a big brother or big sister, in the company of kids, it's about responsibilty. These kids want to do the big people stuff, they have to take their punches and be prepared to accept the consequences. If that means adults calling them a piece of shit, so be it. If the shoe fits.
You should also know that your article was a bit muddy in the fact that you are making reference to major crimes and major troubles of kids. The little stuff still gets swept under the rug on a daily basis. Most kids that get in trouble once, learn their lesson, and become a bit better behaved having done so. Repeat offenders that continuously escalate the level of their crimes, deserve what they get. They get no sympathy from me. They had a chance to learn right from wrong, and still chose wrong.
I can appreciate what you are trying to say, but I don't agree with your opinion on what is the actual problem.
Since I made one of the comments I believe is being referred to by the writer, I feel it only fair to respond to some of her commentary. I also thank TMC for their coverage and dedication in reporting newsworthy events and further in providing a forum for commentary regarding those stories.
As to calling this person a piece of slime (or otherwise as I see a different version of those initials exist), I believe that a rose by any other name smells the same. The reference to this individual was to someone who committed premeditated murder, not due to age. I don't care if he is 8, 80 or 800, someone who willfully plans violence against another deserves whatever names they get called. This is not in reference to race, creed, or belief system, merely the fact that they are a killer.
Well, lets move on. As to temptations of youth, they most certainly did exist whether it was to have the loudest stereo system, fastest car, prettiest girlfriend, whatever. Those yens still existed and the thought of harming someone else to achieve one's goals was never even considered. You worked hard for what you got and did not resent it if someone beat you to it, you just resolved to work harder. Now as to what we had to live with, maybe not AIDS, but other STD's such as syphillis or gonorrhea, rapes I'm sure occurred (where do you think the term date rape originated, in the last 5 years????), incest has always been around as has child abuse, suicide and peer pressure (remember you had to have a faster car or louder stereo than your friend). Divorce existed as did drug usage (I suppose those were Marlboros they were smoking at Woodstock and Timothy Leary was experimenting with aspirin for a new high). Constructive activities exist as much today as they did then, however it is now not considered "cool" to be involved, instead it's better to call each other either an "n" or "ho" at McDonalds in downtown Elyria. Now, as a history lesson, I can also tell you some of the things that existed when I grew up. We had the wheel, fire and automobiles in addition to color television.
I have volunteered in the past with agencies funded by United Way to help children and one of the first things you become able to spot is whether someone wants help or not. For those who do, help is always provided. For those who don't (and this is their own choice, not someone else forcing it on them), you can only feel sorry for them because you know they are headed for prison or worse. Yes, the parents can be blamed, but not wholly. Many fine individuals came from single-parent homes because they made the choice to do something positive with their life (conversely, I am sure many criminals came from whole families).
The youth must try and take some positive steps themselves and there are many examples available to them. Calling each other "n's" or "ho's" is not a positive way. Neither is theft, violence, or the desire to reproduce like rabbits just to get a little more public assistance money.
I do consider myself part of the solution since I am more than happy to help anyone who has even the slightest interest in helping themselves. But, someone who believes that murder is the way to solve one's problems deserves what they get. In this case, as a taxpayer, I consider myself fortunate that he saved us all the cost of a trial and incarceration by doing himself in. Considering the current recidivism rates. prison may not be someplace to send someone who you want to rehabilitate (but that's another issue).
I apologize for taking up so much of the reader's time and I thank you for bearing with me during my little spiel, but I must defend the right to free speech in calling someone exactly what they are. Treating a murderer with kid gloves and trying to explain his actions away as just "misguided" is blowing smoke and covering up the issue rather than addressing the fact that some people just do not belong in society. This kid deserves to be called what he was because of his choices and actions, not choices that were forced on him.
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