Sunday, August 19, 2007


Sunday already? Well, you got me up from a lazy summer nap, forgive me if I’m cranky. This week was a bit humdrum, so I’ll just give ya’ll a few tidbits.

Obviously, the woman who flipped her car over last Sunday, and RAN OFF, did it because she saw my post was already up. But she will not be spared. If there were an Idiot of the Week Award, she would be the recipient. How inebriated do you have to be to flip a car and just leave it behind? It was the dead of night and she damaged another vehicle. Good thing the witnesses who were playing “corn hole” (yes, it is a real game, get your mind outta the gutter) were able to make sure she wasn’t mortally injured. Although, I’ll be honest, it would have been no detriment to the gene pool had she not made it (ouch). Come on; if you’re drunk and driving, do us all a favor and drive over a cliff, a big cliff. Enough said?

So, another week of festivals in the books, fortunately I did not attend any. Don’t get me wrong, they looked fun, but I’m still emotionally scarred from the Corn Festival. (I just barfed in my mouth a little) It’s up to you now, go to one that you think is worthwhile and support your community, yuck.

Changing the subject, I was reading the story “Antique Show on the River” and saw a life-like, replica of The Wizard of Oz. I almost got in my car and drove to Lorain to see it (WHAT?). Turns out; I got my stories mixed up. The picture was actually of Elyria Mayor hopeful, Tim Quinn. He was handing out literature (or are those Diplomas, scarecrow?) Now in his defense, he had a lot of inspirational things to say about how he’d save Elyria. Then again, he’s lived in Elyria since it’s founding in 1816 and has personally consulted with all 46 of its previous Mayors. I can hear it now; “I’m Quinn for Mayor! That’s Quinn, spelled Q-U-I … I … where am I?” (Leave him alone)

Turning the page, on a somber note, another young man washes up (dead, obviously) in Avon Lake. I guess I don’t understand why people can’t swim during the day, with lifeguards and other people around. It’s late, dark and you’re alone, isn’t that enough reason to stay on the shore? Guess not. Let’s all go back to the days when we waited for the neighbors to fall asleep jumped their fence and skinny-dipped in their pool. It’s a win-win for everyone. FYI: I am currently investigating the recent string of stories from Amherst too. I am still convinced that Amherst is receiving runaways (or rejects) from Lorain…. Stay tuned.

So, you were waiting for it and here it is…. My HIGHLIGHT OF THE LOWLIGHTS! Elyria, sad and depressed. Oh, Elyria. Who’s to blame, what’s to blame? Well, I will answer. First, do yourself a favor (or an injustice) drive into Elyria at 2:30 am. I know it’s late but what else are you doing. Weeknight or weekend doesn’t matter. First of all, don’t be scared, everyone is relatively harmless (as long as you don’t make eye contact or stand out so people can see you). The fun part is; you can walk 2 blocks and pass a “black bar” a “biker bar” an “I-don’t-see-any-under-age-drinking teen bar” a “parents-who-left-their-kids-at-home bar” and a “strip club”. The real kicker is watching them all convene at the same time. They fight each other, themselves, men and women, boys and girls, I even saw a guy fight a street sign. TMC NEWS doesn’t have the manpower to cover the stories. Trust me, an eyewitness account is priceless. This cesspool known as, “downtown” may be the reason Elyria is fighting to keep their head above water. I don’t want to hear about the businesses or quaint shops, blah, blah, blah. 95% of the people going downtown (and not for court) are going to drink, and not well. It would be different if life-loving people had “night clubs” to party at on the weekends; or artsy restaurants to eat at on weeknights, and then off to work in the morning. But these are bars, dozens of nasty bars. And these people are going home, and in the morning off to middle school (just kidding?) or just sleeping it off till noon because they don’t have a job. Now if you’re the exception to the rule, good for you, but I don’t want to hear about it. Let’s get this straight. There’s always been talk about revitalizing downtown, but the old saying stands, “If I you shine up a turd and put a tux on it, IT’S STILL A TURD.” I am an old fashioned guy and I believe that the dark, underbelly of your city should be just that, and hidden away. Keep your ugly parts covered. In the end; if you don’t have enough respect (or love?) for your town, who’s going to believe in your town, invest in your town or move into your town? That’s all, and it’s not a cure-all, but it’s a start. Move out the trash and pull up your rugs before you start painting. Don’t blame anyone; just see what you can do to start. Elyria, that’s my piece (and get your hand off it). So ladies & gents; see you next time, same bat time, same bat channel.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

For a second there I thought I was on People in Elyria saying their town is worse. And people in Lorain saying no, theirs is. I can honestly say Lorain is worse. There are more people in bed at 2:00 am in Elyria than in Lorain. I've seen it first hand. Say good night Jason. H82

2:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jason, how true, your remarks about all the bars in elyria. Where do the drunks go for food? Remember when there was a Sears, Penny's Style Center, two ice cream stores (with food) , two candy stores, Merthe's ,Wolworth, and so many others. Yeh, there were three movie theaters, and real places to shop. And they wonder why people go to the mall. Jp

7:56 PM  
Anonymous Scot from Westlake said...

I agree with Jason. I have been through downtown Elyria before late at night (and not going to the nasty bars) and I have seen the fights and the cops running to break up one fight then the next. The Grace administration and the conartist group Main Street Elyria need to give up on "bringing back downtown". The past is in the past. I have grown up working with my father in the construction business and I would suggest that you allow us to come in with several bulldozers and level 40% of downtown Elyria. That is the way to start bringing some type of normal life down there. Instead of passing out liquor licenses like candy on halloween, how about LIMITING them.

I'm not sure who Jp is but I am guessing he is around my dads age cause he said he remembers two ice cream stores in downtown elyria. Nothing against your Mayor Elyria but until Mayor Grace is gone and someone with balls get into office and makes some radical changes Elyria will continue spiraling downward.

Jason is right when he says you can put a tux on a turd but it is still a turd.


8:43 PM  
Anonymous amy said...

I moved away from Elyria 7 years ago and at the time it was a tough decision because it was my hometown. I have been back several times and sure I see the pretty planters downtown but I also see a lot of what use to be there gone. Businesses and good people. Jason is right, to be downtown after dark is very scary and that is sad because it use to be a fun place to go. I know now that I made the right decision 7 years ago. Amy

8:50 PM  
Anonymous LLT said...

I have to agree will all the comments about Elyria. I have been stuck here for over 20 years and I have to get out. It is embarassing living in a city that is always on the news and for ugly, bad things. Our taxes go up and up as do our housepayments. The roads in Elyria are damaging our autos an are very dangerous. My kids cannot go to school here even though I pay the taxes here. A new high school has been approved and I'm afraid to send my kids here. Downtown is ugly and still dangerous even during the day. The mall is not only ugly the people from other nearby towns will not come here out of fear. I don't blame them. TIME TO MOVE OUT!!!!!!!!!!!

8:09 AM  

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