Monday, June 20, 2011


Happy Fathers Day! Oh crap, I never called my dad... Well, he didn't call me either. So we're even. As I inch closer and closer towards "maturity" and I watch myself starting to age much like the ripening avocados on the kitchen counter; I reflect a bit more on each day, sometimes each hour. This Fathers Day, I enjoyed some Mexamerican cuisine (fancy? No. It's called tacos and burritos), and some strawberry lime margaritas. Who could hate that?

While I watched my children playing in their pool and sliding down their slides, I thought for just a moment, "what the heck did I do to be able to spend a day in this house with those little monsters running amuck?" I considered myself blessed, then reality set back in...."I'm slight inebriated aren't I?" Oh, I'm kidding, I am a blessed man and I only prefaced this week’s rant with that story because last week we lost half of the Tomasheski family and in a terrible car crash. Check with TMC for ways to give and support this family which lost a mother and son, so heartbreaking!! But, I am not the obituary column, nor am I the advice column. So as the resident color commentator, I say let's paint this town!

The color of choice today is: dunce cap gray, because we've got some real hum-dingers that kept it pretty interesting this week. 2 different motorcycle crashes one sounds like failure to control, the other sounds like failure to launch! We'll go with the story number 2. There are 2 aspects to this story that set it up to be a failure from the beginning. #1- motorcycle #2- an 80 year old man. Those two things are a recipe for a Life Alert commercial.

Now, I know I have a reputation for not defending elderly drivers. I can't disagree with that. I've been to the bureau of motor vehicles and have seen the 90 year old woman fail the vision test 26 times. Why 26? Because they basically let her name off every letter of the alphabet!! A? No! B? No, try again. C, D...I offered to read it for her!! So when I see an 80 year old man, in the rain, on a motorcycle, with no helmet and some pretty thick bottle glass for spectacles....I lose some of that sympathy. He fell off his bike and was FINE so, let's get that out of the way. But he lost control while wiping the rain off his glasses. Well, that's probably a good indication that your balance may be a little off if you can't manage to use one hand for a few seconds. It also shows you may be a little off in your judgment that you wouldn't just pull over and wait out the torrents. So, I've got some strict advice for Mr. Magoo here...get a helmet, maybe some need pads, and if you can't handle your horse, stick to your rascal scooter, or try a trike instead! Good thing no one was hurt. Maybe some pride.

The other story that caught my eye was another valiant rescue by our fine EFD. So what cute cat got pulled out of a tree this week? Wait, that's not a cat, that's an orangutan! No, no, no! It's just some silly Elyrian 30 feet up in the foliage! So it's an honest mistake. The guy was trimming the verge and managed to knock his ladder over. Unfortunately he was much higher than jumping distance and he doesn't look too light on his toes. I'm guessing a fall from 30 may have left him a foot shorter and that much wider too. Thank God we still live in a time where we can call our firefighters out to rescue us from our mentally challenged selves sometimes!! Had it been me up there, I'm sure someone would've offered to just cut the tree down whilst I was in it, or leave me to my own devices. This guy must have much more sympathetic friends than I do. Again, perhaps only pride was left bruised after this event. But if I could offer some Dear Abby here: next time you decide to climb up into the heights of nature, defy gravity and test Newton's Law all at the same time...pack a parachute, and perhaps a lunch!

That's really all I've got. We're reaching the deadline to get involved with this year’s Kerstetter 5k, so check with TMC NEWS and get all the info you need and check the new website out

As always, stay SMART, stay SAFE, and get your great grandpa off that motorcycle!
God Bless Us, Everyone!


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