SUNDAYS WITH JASON
GO TRIBE! I put that in there for all you Indians fans. I am not saying anything more but at least people have something out there to be happy about. I am sure that the people who experienced the power outage on Friday were at least happy it was not during the games on Thursday or Saturday.
So the colors of fall are upon us. The leaves are turning, the air is getting drier and I am already sick of the color orange. (Go Browns?) But it is a nice change, especially when we can break out the sweaters & hoodies. Me personally, I start my special-stomach-stretching-techniques around this time of the year. I sure wouldn’t want to show up to Thanksgiving dinner unprepared. That would be a messy catastrophe!
Well, how about some news…Congratulations to Lynda for a successful gastric bypass… wait, wrong story. Okay, News, here we are: So last week it was about chili, this week it was spaghetti and next week will be about drunken dancing with Avon Lake Fire. (Remember, we’re building momentum to expand our Holiday capacity) The chili cook-off at Elyria Harley sounded like it was a blast (smelled like a blast too, nasty; yeah I’m not above a good fart joke.) Word on the streets is Pete “the Meat” from Avon brought his “A” game to the bout. Now in Eaton Township (or as I refer to it, “WHERE?”) people were stuffin’ themselves to the gills with pasta. Remember, “All you can eat,” is not a challenge, it’s an offer. But if you’re gonna bust a gut, do it for a good cause. But if you’re not still on the “john” after chili day; and if you’ve got the marinara stains out of your white T-shirt, then you got one more party to attend. So make sure you show up to the Avon Lake Firefighter's Boo Bash! It sounds like they’ve got the best prizes and a real plan (which is obviously overlooked throughout most of the “events” in this county). You all know I had my share of “Festivals” this year (the Ridgeville Corn Nightmare) but I’ll put my money on this one being a success. So go on Saturday, so I don’t have to.
Finally, with the possibility of there being more power outages in the near future, I took it upon myself to come up with a few things for you all to do when the “boob tube” doesn’t come on. #1: Read a Book: Since it will be pitch black, you’ll finally be able to tell someone you read something in turn making you look and sound smarter, although you really are still dumb as a can of peas. #2: Use the time to play, “Good battery, Bad battery.” Maybe you’ll get lucky and find one to put in the flashlight. And last one #3: When your annoying neighbor (you know the one) starts lighting candles, feed a complimentary gas line through his mail slot (well, that may be illegal, but there would be plenty of “ambient light” for the whole block) Anyways, that should help get you through a few dark hours.
I’ll keep this one short. I seem to have been caught with verbal diarrhea the past few weeks (and I can’t blame that one on the chili). Thanks everyone for your thoughts and insight. We have some very intelligent readers and it is always a pleasure to hear from them.
Don’t walk any train tracks, and remember its drunken season, so watch yourselves on the roads! Maybe offer to drive someone home (or out to a large field to fend off coyotes). But above all else, have fun and smile. It’s the time of the year where the Holiday stresses start bringing out the nastiness in people. You know, the ones who beat up people over Tickle Me Elmo’s and stuff. So relax, and enjoy your life, breathe it all in, even if it stinks.
Jason
So the colors of fall are upon us. The leaves are turning, the air is getting drier and I am already sick of the color orange. (Go Browns?) But it is a nice change, especially when we can break out the sweaters & hoodies. Me personally, I start my special-stomach-stretching-techniques around this time of the year. I sure wouldn’t want to show up to Thanksgiving dinner unprepared. That would be a messy catastrophe!
Well, how about some news…Congratulations to Lynda for a successful gastric bypass… wait, wrong story. Okay, News, here we are: So last week it was about chili, this week it was spaghetti and next week will be about drunken dancing with Avon Lake Fire. (Remember, we’re building momentum to expand our Holiday capacity) The chili cook-off at Elyria Harley sounded like it was a blast (smelled like a blast too, nasty; yeah I’m not above a good fart joke.) Word on the streets is Pete “the Meat” from Avon brought his “A” game to the bout. Now in Eaton Township (or as I refer to it, “WHERE?”) people were stuffin’ themselves to the gills with pasta. Remember, “All you can eat,” is not a challenge, it’s an offer. But if you’re gonna bust a gut, do it for a good cause. But if you’re not still on the “john” after chili day; and if you’ve got the marinara stains out of your white T-shirt, then you got one more party to attend. So make sure you show up to the Avon Lake Firefighter's Boo Bash! It sounds like they’ve got the best prizes and a real plan (which is obviously overlooked throughout most of the “events” in this county). You all know I had my share of “Festivals” this year (the Ridgeville Corn Nightmare) but I’ll put my money on this one being a success. So go on Saturday, so I don’t have to.
Finally, with the possibility of there being more power outages in the near future, I took it upon myself to come up with a few things for you all to do when the “boob tube” doesn’t come on. #1: Read a Book: Since it will be pitch black, you’ll finally be able to tell someone you read something in turn making you look and sound smarter, although you really are still dumb as a can of peas. #2: Use the time to play, “Good battery, Bad battery.” Maybe you’ll get lucky and find one to put in the flashlight. And last one #3: When your annoying neighbor (you know the one) starts lighting candles, feed a complimentary gas line through his mail slot (well, that may be illegal, but there would be plenty of “ambient light” for the whole block) Anyways, that should help get you through a few dark hours.
I’ll keep this one short. I seem to have been caught with verbal diarrhea the past few weeks (and I can’t blame that one on the chili). Thanks everyone for your thoughts and insight. We have some very intelligent readers and it is always a pleasure to hear from them.
Don’t walk any train tracks, and remember its drunken season, so watch yourselves on the roads! Maybe offer to drive someone home (or out to a large field to fend off coyotes). But above all else, have fun and smile. It’s the time of the year where the Holiday stresses start bringing out the nastiness in people. You know, the ones who beat up people over Tickle Me Elmo’s and stuff. So relax, and enjoy your life, breathe it all in, even if it stinks.
Jason
posted by TMC NEWS at 12:01 AM
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